Missing in Action: The Other Sock
WARNING: Brace yourselves. We like to keep things pretty upbeat around here (which really isn’t too hard to do working in an office filled with crazy socks covered in unicorns and ninjas and such), but today we’re going to broach a much deeper subject. (I know what you’re thinking – “On a Thursday! But it’s almost the weekend!” But we promise not to get your brains working too hard…)
We’re going to delve into one of life’s greatest mysteries. An unexplainable phenomenon that leaves many searching for answers. A question that has stooped the experts for hundreds of years.
WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENS TO THE MISSING SOCK?!
I mean, it never fails. 12 socks go in the dryer and only 11 come out. And what can you really do with 5.5 pairs of socks?!
Our plates are pretty full already creating even more amazing socks, but as experts in our industry, we feel like it’s our duty to investigate this unusual occurrence. For starters, we did a little bit of research and found some pretty interesting hypotheses. Thousands of speculated on this matter, and here are a few of the most plausible conclusions we could find:
1. The Sock-Time Continuum
According to the Uncyclopedia, socks develop a special kind of Dark Matter reserved only for clothing garments worn on the feet. Because socks bear all of the wearer’s weight, they elasticity is stretched beyond its means which results in a low density (basically, the sock gets worn out). Dark Matter forms in the toe and builds up over time. After it reaches a certain level, the dryer temporarily turns into a space-time continuum and – BOOM! – it blasts the socks into a new dimension.
2. The Ever-Evolving Sock
Let’s face it, we’ve all come across that one random sock while folding laundry that we have no idea where it could have come from. You know, the faded pink-striped sock that’s 2 sizes too small? The one that no one in your household would possibly own? (Maybe the sock-time continuum blasts socks back into our dimension?!) This blogger believes socks evolve as a sort of survival mechanism. In an effort to get thrown out early and spend the rest of their days kicked back at the local dump, socks change colors and patterns so you purposefully won’t wear them down into a raggedy mess.
3. The Great Sock Escape
This one is our personal favorite. Check out this hilarious video of a young Jerry Seinfeld explain a sock’s calculated attempt at escaping: https://accessibleseinfeld.com/g2yE/a-sock-escapes/.
“Cause socks, socks, think about it. They hate their lives. They do, they’re in the shoe, they’re in the drawer, and they hate it.”
We like to think our socks are pretty content where they are, but it’s still pretty funny to watch! And now that you mention it, how DOES someone lose one sock on the sidewalk?!
There are tons of theories out there. We can’t say which one is correct just yet, but we’ll definitely keep you posted on our findings. Did we miss any great guesses? Let us know where you think your missing socks wander off to!