Lil BUB
Name: Lil BUB
Age: Infinite
Location: Earth
Occupation: Magic Space Feline/Tour Guide/Personal Coach/Psychic
Superhero Lil’ Bub has acclimated to life on our planet purrfectly. Coming to Earth with the purpose of saving it, she recalls her earliest years upon arriving from her home planet of Bub Ub BUB, where she had left behind “tens of thousands” of feline siblings that look just like her.
“When I landed here three and half years ago, I was very tiny. That’s because I shrink down in size to make space travel more efficient. So when I first landed here as a “kitten” the biggest challenge was adapting to your fiercely intense gravitational pull. I have never been on a planet that was so determined to pull to the ground. And that would explain why my body sits so low, and why I have so much difficulty moving about. I’m used to floating around like a ‘bird.’”
Never one to be encumbered by mere planetary difficulties, Bub persevered, which is unsurprising if you have ever seen her on the Internet. With the aid of a magical device called The Assisi Loop, she has become more than mobile. Effective for treating pain, and completely non-invasive, the Assisi Loop is a disposable device that can help animals to heal with the aid of pulsing electromagnetic field technology, an FDA-cleared treatment for pain and edema in both humans and animals (and feline interplanetary superheros.)
When asked to cite her influences, Lil’ Bub is quick to respond, “I’ve learned that on your planet this is considered “arrogance”, but where I’m from it’s considered “honesty;” I am my own biggest influence. Gizmo comes in a close second.”
As part of her Earth-rescuing plan, Lil’ Bub founded the Lil’ BUB’s Big Fund for ASPCA, in order to help encourage donations and awareness for animals with special needs in order to help them get adopted.
“One of the main reasons for my visit to your planet was to help with the overpopulation of Earth cats,” Lil’ Bub purrs. “It took me a little under a year to morph back into a full-size BUB and get a feel for this place before I could officially announce my fame and start my work. By my first birthday I had already opened an online store with proceeds benefitting animals in need. Within another year, my fame was so widespread that it was time to make an official national fund to ensure that the money raised was being put to good use. And that’s how Lil BUB’s Big FUND came about.”
It’s the first national fund for special needs pets, and works to draw the public’s attention towards those little friends who may have unique requirements, may they be blind, ill, older, or just in need of some extra TLC. Every penny that’s raised through the fund – through Lil’ Bub’s meet and greets, her online store sales, or direct donations – is turned into grants that are awarded to shelters throughout the country. You can contribute to the fund by donating directly at www.aspca.org/lilbub, or by purchasing any item from the Bub Store. – https://store.lilbub.com.
Not content with simply setting up a charity, Lil’ Bub makes sure that all of her efforts are well-executed in line with her pet saving plan: all of her meet and greets are conducted at local shelters, and the proceeds are evenly split between the Fund and the shelter. Additionally, Lil’ Bub has worked with Greenpeace to help save tigers, PETA to spread awareness about spaying and neutering, and with the Humane Society of the United States to promote special needs adoption. Her efforts are truly out of this world!
Even though she’s clearly extraordinary, sometimes it’s hard to imagine any being keeping so calm during the zillions of public appearances she makes. Lil’ Bub credits her cool through her otherworldliness. “I am capable of a level of calmness and concentration that has never been attained by any earth creature (although the sloth comes close.) I have a much deeper understanding of life, the universe, and well, everything,” she explains. “So basic things like car horns and gawking fans have no effect on my state of consciousness.”
And her stellar extraterrestrial zen must be contagious, considering the effect it can have on even the most uptight of cosmopolitan creatures. During a stay at New York’s esteemed The Dream hotel, Lil’ Bub recalls a particularly dashing display of her powers, the day she turned poop into wine.
“After a day of shooting, my dude placed me on the bed to rest while he ran out to grab some food. What he didn’t realize is that I had to #2 real bad. And I did. So when he came back, he found a couple fresh turds on the comforter,” she recalls, with a twitch of her whiskers. “So he called down to the fancy ladies working the front desk to explain what happened. The fancy lady then accused him of sneaking “an animal” into their prestigious hotel, threatened to charge him for the destroying the comforter, and stormed up to my room to make him sign a form and pay some fine. He was holding me when he answered the door, and as soon as the lady saw me, she froze. She simply said “Oh my gosh. I don’t even like cats, but there is something very special about this one, she has such a magical energy.” The woman was overwhelmed with my magic, apologized, and then sent up a very nice bottle of red wine. And that’s how I turned poop into wine.”
Although she was captivating in her magical cat-kindness, Lil’ Bub had a distinct motivation for honoring us as our Cool Girl of the Month, and that was to share a direct message for special needs pets and those earthlings thinking of adopting them. We present to you, unedited, Lil’ Bub’s musings:
“To the pets: Hello!
To the people considering adopting them: Adopting a special needs pet is enormously rewarding, but it comes with a price. A special needs pet requires special attention, and you have to be ready to do whatever it takes to ensure your pet’s health, happiness and safety, and you should be prepared financially to have to cover additional medical expenses. And beyond that, you have to be the kind of person who can handle difficult times. Your special needs pet will reward you tenfold for giving them the best possible life, but there will inevitably be difficult times and heartbreak. But I promise you, it’s worth it.”
If you’re interested in knowing more about Lil’ Bub (and who isn’t?!) or are thinking of becoming a proud parent of a special pet of your own, check out www.lilbub.com/about for her inspiring story. Or if you simply want to zone out in an aura of amazing, click to view Lil’ Bub’s videos at www.youtube.com/lilbubbub
And because you know you want incredible stuff with her face on it, check out the BUB STORE: https://store.lilbub.com